Rasputin Zaceij von Kramer the Younger was borne of immaculate conception by his mother the teenage harlot Zveta in Vilnius,  Lithuania… It was there on a dreary night in mid-march that Zveta discovered she was with child as she went into labor immediately in a deserted alley while hunched over collecting sovereigns tossed on the cobblestone by a departed gentleman caller. Young Zaceij would walk after three days & uttered his first word, “Omá?ka” (or “tartar sauce”…… as in “please pass the tartar sauce…”) a fortnight later.  He learned to play clavichord and by age 6 had composed his first fugue and suite. When young Zaceij would inquire about his true father, Zveta would insist he was the son of Napoleon Bonaparte.

In the winter of Zaceij’s 15th year Zveta fell deathly I’ll with plague & expired with Zaceij bedside holding her hand. He decided to lose himself abroad & he jumped ship and fell in with the King Frederick II out of Hamburg, bound for Newfoundland, but the ship would hit icy waters off the coast of Greenland & was never heard from again. Zaceij was considered lost at sea for many years until he surfaced to be the Production Designer of a short film directed by Benjamin Dynice in 2009. Immediately after principle photography concluded, he would disappear once more…. this time immediately following a chance encounter with an old nemesis in a Pinkberry on Abbot Kinney that left one man partially maimed and another man  very satisfied with his Mochi/Capn’ Crunch/Blackberry atop their new Passion fruit yogurt. It is said he may be looking for work, but no one can seem to find him on Facebook…